Spoofed (?)

Taken from the April 5, 2006 (Spoof) Issue of The LaSallian (TLS):

"Dr. Pabiton launches radio program"

The embattled Dr. Carmelita Pabiton, dean of Student Affairs, is planning to launch Verbal Sensations, a radio program that announcers her daily plans for the Student Personnel Services (SPS) this coming April 2006. She grabbed the opportunity to use Green Giant, the radio station established by Electronics and Communications Engineering Society.

Dr. Pabiton is not used to writing written proposals whenever she raises concerns or implements program for the SPS. In fact, it took Dr. Pabiton to write her proposal and minutes of the meeting for two months.

The LaSallian found that the idea came from Dr. Carmelita Quebengco, DLSU executive vice president. SPS directors believe that all the decisions of Dr. Pabiton just came from Dr. Quebengco. However, Dr. Quebengco is quick to point that the statement is just an assumption. "Don't feed words in my mouth," Dr. Q said.

It maybe recalled that student leaders and employees questioned the quick decision of directors to merge SPS offices. The issue even led to a disciplinary complaint filed by Dr. Pabiton against Student Council President Army Padilla. But the case was immediately resolved in a closed door meeting.

Meanwhile, Dr. Pabiton also faced a grievance case filed by Benedict Tinawin for suspending his tenure as the dean's exclusive student consultant. The Student Council, on the other hand, already released a manifesto concerning the dean's "mismanagement" of the situation.

"I am really excited with my new program. Sabi nila kasi puro verbal decisions daw ang ginagawa ko. Totoo naman, diba Fritchie. Kaya mas magandang solusyon na sabihin ko nalang."

As not to defeat the process of making verbal decisions, Dr. Pabiton will not read any script of document during her air time. "Word of mouth nalang ang gagawin. Kasi kung babasahin ko pa yung script, baka sabihin na nakadocument ang mga decisions. Masusulat pa yan sa The LaSallian. Ayoko kasing bulok na bulok ang nababasa sa mga diyaryo. Diba, Paul."

The Verbal Sensations also involves different flavors such as singing, drama, and horse racing updates.